A Conversation on doing better

Two MCHS alumni talk about #MCHSDOBETTER and what the school should stand for

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#MCHSDOBETTER has brought shock, anger, and disappointment to the Miriam College community in the last few days. As Miriam College alumni of Green Batch 2011, we sat down and recounted some of our own high school memories, and quickly realized that we’ve had firsthand experience of many of the school’s institutional flaws that have been revealed recently. 

Multiple groups of former MCHS students have come together over the past couple of days to demand change from the school’s administration. Independently, concerned alumni have come up with plans of action that can be taken moving forward.

At some point, we asked ourselves: Why is this up to us? Shouldn’t an institution, that’s almost of centennial existence, already have an efficient system in dealing with issues such as sexual harassment? For claiming to stand for truth, peace, and justice, what actions must MC take in order to keep its student body safe and reassured? What changes must they make in order to truly uphold and embody the core values that they teach their students? 

We shift through the emotions and issues one by one to come up with solutions, insights and an avenue of expression. Hopefully our conversation encourages you to facilitate discussions with your own peers and the proper authorities, and reach out to victims to express your support, empathy and the assurance that we will be demanding justice with accountability and transparency.

The conversation below is a video call transcription with minor edits for clarity.

Vinz: Hey, have you seen what’s trending? I’m not on Twitter a lot but for some reason last Thursday morning I logged in and saw that #MCHSDOBETTER was trending. My first thoughts were: What is happening? Am I too old to not get what this is? Is it something I should be concerned about?

Christine: I didn’t know about it either. One of my friends just told me on a group chat and I just clicked on the link they sent me. I was just scrolling through and it was so disturbing. A lot of the people who were tweeting about it were younger. A lot of them are still in high school right now.

V: The teachers that were cited, they’re all new. We didn’t get the chance to know them—but it doesn’t mean that during our time there weren’t any cases like this. We were aware that there were.

C: I do know some people who’ve had similar experiences—not anything physical, cause some of the ones on Twitter recounted teachers putting their hands on students. I haven’t heard any stories like that from our batchmates. Have you?

V: No. I think the only testimony that I’ve read that’s similar to what’s been published under this hashtag is your cousin’s.

C: Okay, yeah.

V: I think she just posted it a month ago and I was really shocked. Like shit, yeah, Music Center had and still has those one-on-one lessons.

C: The Music Center thing, I don’t think he was a full-time teacher and I don’t think their hiring process was the same for music instructors—I doubt. But that specific music teacher has been there for decades, he was older. When my cousin posted that, she said so many other girls messaged her saying they experienced the same thing from that specific teacher.

At that time, in 2006, we believe he was already in his 60s when my cousin was his student. Nobody knows. I guess he was a “nice person on the outside.” You can’t really tell who’s a pedophile or not. Of course, they’re not gonna show their tendencies to somebody else. That’s always going to be done or revealed in private. 

V: Yeah, there are no signs. There are no set of characteristics we can lump together to help us identify one. It’s hard to be a judge of someone’s character—that’s what makes hiring such a hard and sensitive case. It’s not something you can identify off the bat.

C: You can’t identify it unless someone comes forward.

V: When it comes to the hiring process, it won’t be seen there as well. They would be looking at criminal records, pending legal cases—but at the same time, there are a lot of teachers who are hired straight from college. It’s gonna be their first jobs, you’ll have no indication, as an institution or whatsoever, to be able to identify they are like this, or have any indication they have tendencies to be like this. But still they have to be accountable because these are people they hired and welcomed into the school.

C: The administration—how do they handle these things? What do you think?

V: I think it’s very difficult to identify sexual harassment cases when they don’t come into light. But now that it’s out in the open, the next steps are crucial. By now they should’ve reached out to these students who have reported such incidents so that the story they are taking isn’t just limited by the characters Twitter can accommodate.

C: I really hope they did. I’ve been talking to my cousin, asking what her insights are. Most of those on that Twitter thread did report what happened to them. But it’s like a pattern—not just the sexual harassment thing, but other issues—they tell you to keep quiet. They don’t do what they’re supposed to do. They care more about their reputation. 

As alumni, we stand for justice, accountability, and just being on the side of the students. My cousin is really enraged about this because she experienced it firsthand, of course. She said: “Fuck the whole institution for trying to breed perfect little girls by telling them to keep quiet and dismiss the whole issue of pedophilia.” 

There’s also this one tweet: “Shame on MC for being so proactive in punishing students regarding dress codes and LGBT relationships, yet silent and tolerant regarding pedophilia committed by teachers you hired.”

V: I feel like students feel defeated whenever they report sexual harassment against their teacher and they still see them on campus. It doesn’t make them feel safe at all. You’d rather be silent about it, carry it with you and just get out of school as fast as you can so you can finally live a “normal life” instead of having to live the process of being labeled as the victim.

C: I can see that as a possibility.

TRANSPARENCY

V: I think the school, being a school, should be pro-students. If there are any cases being reported or investigated, they should always take the student’s side. Any issue brought up to the administration is confidential, in a sense that they don’t want other people knowing that an investigation is being arranged—otherwise, the suspects will be changing the narrative, they’ll be shifting their attitude just to cover up whatever the complaint is about.

But at the same time, they don’t have that practice of transparency—of updating the students where their case rests. Like, okay, we got the complaint but they never really reach back to the student and say: “Hey, this is what we’re doing. This is what we found out. These are the next steps we’re taking. These are the consequences they’ll be facing.” They don’t have that process and people are left in the dark. It’s easier for students to feel like they’ve been silenced or things have been shoved under a rug.

C: I feel like there’s no formal process and if there’s someone in charge of things like these. There’s no transparency and it’s not their priority.

V: But that shouldn’t be a case. It’s a threat to the entire student body. What happens to one person can multiply to an experience other people can have.

C: Did you read the statement they released? They didn’t apologize or own up to anything. And it completely backfired on them. Current and former students have since come forward about other unpleasant experiences they’ve had with MC’s administration. People are claiming that the school basically tries to cover up any issues that might put them in a negative light. It really seems like they only care about their image.

V: Nothing they say can satiate the anger and disappointment the students and community feel until they have the actions to back it up. I think there really should be more boundaries between the students and teachers. How could they not see that coming?

FRIENDLY RELATIONSHIPS

V: Do you remember that rule where we’re not allowed to add our teachers, male or female? We can only add them once we’ve graduated.

C: Did you do that? I don’t remember!

V: I was already working when I started being friends on social media with some of my teachers. But that’s only because I still see them a lot—I still visit school a lot.

C: Who said that rule? No one ever told me that!

V: Really? I think I came to know because we had this culture where we would surprise our homeroom advisers during their birthdays, and we were sleuthing to find out as much as we can trying to know their likes and all that.

We can only access their profiles if we added them. I think it was a teacher who said they weren’t allowed to be friends with students online. Like we were told not to expect any of our teachers to be adding us back because of this rule amongst faculty. I wonder what happened?

C: I guess it was an unwritten rule. If it weren’t, then it should’ve been part of the handbook! A lot of students, including me, we were close with our teachers. Like we acted as buddies. I think that’s why some of those teachers felt they can approach their students in that way. Especially the younger teachers who were only a few years older than us.

Maybe in a way they felt like they were our peers and could talk to us in a friendly way. The school didn’t say anything about that, didn’t do anything to stop those kinds of “friendly” relationships from happening.

V: I think it’s really on the training of the teachers and that’s on the school already—to ingrain and stipulate that you’re here in a professional manner. You’re not here to make friends with your students. You’re here to foster them inside the classroom. It’s really having that kind of professional boundaries that the school should be implementing—but teachers, as adults, this should already be automatic for them.

C: Teachers that were older definitely had more boundaries, yeah. But I guess it is with the younger ones. Maybe they don’t know how to act in a more firm or professional manner yet. It was easier to be friendly with their students. How would you be able to screen that on the daily? You have to train them more.


VICTIM BLAMING

V: Yeah, there should be more rules. And it’s not like its discriminatory—it won’t only apply to male teachers, it will apply to everyone. But with these rules being non-existent, do you think this administration is more prone to blame the victims?

C: Of course! Especially in our culture, the Filipino culture in general. It’s always about something the victim did—their manner of interaction, what they wore, who started the conversation.

V: If they argue that the victims didn’t report it—is that blaming the victim?

C: That’s not a very empathetic response, like saying “Why didn’t you say anything right away?” Those students might have been scared of retribution from the teacher, of being judged by their peers. So I think it is a way of victim blaming. Some of the people who reported their cases were told to stay silent about it. The school just is not on the side of the students.

V: That is so weird—to be told to be quiet about it. You’re telling that to a child, to a minor, who trusts that adults know better. When you’re young, you can’t think for yourself in those kinds of situations and an adult telling you to be silent is just harmful.

C: One of the people on the thread said they reported it to their guidance counselor. It was supposed to be like a student-counselor confidentiality, and the parents weren’t informed about it. What do you think about that? Shouldn’t their parents always be notified?

V: I think anything done should always be in the best interest of the students cause you’re trying to protect them. In cases as grave as sexual harassment, it's not about confidentiality, it’s about action. You’re not a fucking shrink, nor do you have an attorney-client privilege. If you are in a position where you can stop harassment, you should already be informing your superiors, the people who should be involved in the case, most especially the parents. Information should be less bureaucratic, red-taped. It’s not supposed to stay confidential, otherwise you’re allowing issues to persist.

C: There’s like 400 students under one guidance counselor.

V: Exactly! I don’t think we have enough face time with the guidance counselor. There’s no third-party, someone who isn’t our teacher, who would be reviewing our experiences in the classroom. Someone who’s supposed to be a watchdog to these kinds of issues, someone to keep faculty accountable. It shouldn’t just be a year-end evaluation for a teacher. There should be more ways for students to express how they feel, what they experience. More platforms where students can actively voice out their concerns.

C: Like an actual system, not a voluntary thing. Like they should seek out the students’ opinions and investigate if there is anything off. I think there really should be a system in place where students could easily talk about their issues that’s not merely going to the guidance counselor, talking to your homeroom advisers. The school should be more proactive in knowing these things—they should be in the know, in control of what’s happening on campus.

V: Like as kids, as minors, we always have to be pushed to do something because we’re not sure if it’s the right thing to do. But if it’s the school that’s already asking what’s happening to you, how can we be better, do you have experiences that are out of the ordinary that you want us to look into.

C: I don’t think they have something like that. Have a program or sheet you can submit online. Kids are gonna be scared to say negative or questionable things unless someone asks or opens up an opportunity for them to do so.

GROOMING MINORS

V: This might come off as a conspiracy theory and its connection might not be direct... but maybe that’s why there was a high turnover of male teachers. Like as a student, I was just aware that most male teachers don’t stay very long for you to be their students the next year.

C: What do you mean?

V: Like you’d hear rumors about male faculty being in a relationship with a student from the upper batch and you’d just know they’re not going to be your teacher in the next school year because it would turn out to be true.

C: Oh, yeah. There’s this one teacher who was in a relationship with this Pink 2010 girl. They were open about it when she graduated already, but something must’ve started while they were still both in MC.

V: There’s this term… like a predator grooming a minor. That’s scary cause the school is filled with minors. If you’re letting in a predator, all the students can be potentially “groomed.” All they have to do is wait for them to go off to college.

C: Some girls are really open to it.

V: But even if its consensual, it’s not right, it’s not okay.

C: It’s definitely sketch and not appropriate.

THE CHASTITY COVENANT

V: Right now, I’m consciously trying to remember my own experiences, thinking if there were any instances where I was uncomfortable with any of my teachers. There were, especially when it was about morality and all those Catholic teachings they had in the curriculum. I found it quite ironic they were trying to teach us critical thinking but at the same time prescribing a sort of mindset we were to follow and live by. 

It was just hypocritical. We didn’t really speak up about it. Looking back, it was an unhealthy environment they unintentionally fostered because we’d rather just accept than argue with the teachers that we’re on the platform. I don’t think schools should be that way. It should be a conversation, it should be a discourse where one opinion isn’t above the other.

We even had that one teacher who told us hugging was a sin! We were in third year, I was III-7. We had this Christian Living teacher and I remember her because she gave us this paper for this chastity thing.

C: You got that chastity covenant! It’s so weird. That was on Twitter too, and I was talking to my friends and we never got that. We never signed that shit.

V: Yeah, that’s the thing. I thought it was like a whole year-level thing or it was advised by the school. It was just this one teacher’s thing, and in fairness to her it was voluntary. I remember signing it. It was just a piece of paper but it had an undertone—if you don’t sign and pass it, what does that make you?

C: A hoe.

V: Yeah! There’s a connotation of shame that comes with that piece of paper. If you’re not up to the standards of abstinence, it kinda plays you out as a human being with less morals. That’s not healthy.

C: That’s too extreme! And that didn’t teach us to think for ourselves nor act smart.

“WOMEN EMPOWERMENT”

C: I’ll ask you this: Were we encouraged to think differently and openly? I don’t think we were. There’s a certain narrative they hold—women empowerment—but they basically told us what that was to them, but not for us to experience.

V: What did you think of it? How did you understand what it meant? At that time, what does “women empowerment” really mean to you?

C: To be honest, I wasn’t really paying much attention to it. The gist that I got is that you can do whatever you want regardless of gender. You can aspire the same things men can, that basically women and men are equal. I didn’t really think of the repercussions of what they were trying to teach.

V: Did you think it was just some sort of lip service?

C: In some aspects, I guess.

V: There was this one time in English class, it was during our literary criticism era. I think I was defending a thesis equivalent. My teacher told me it’s not feminism if there’s no patriarch oppressing the female lead—for context, this was in the technical lines of literary criticism, it had a few guidelines to fall under a category.

I remember thinking, “But patriarchy is a system, it can be self-inflicted. The teachings of patriarchy can be ingrained in a woman—it can cause self-harm. But if she breaks off from it, she can be empowered.” I remember this distinctly because it sent this message: That I can’t be empowered on my own, because there’s no man oppressing me. Why can’t a story of an inspiring woman be a story of feminism in its own right without a guy dictating her worth?

C: That’s so messed up. Maybe they were arguing to argue because it was a defense, but that’s fucked up. Why would someone say that?

V: It was a very impressionable memory because I still remember it til this day. What I said was my interpretation of that certain remark, but sounds kind of contrary to what the school is saying that it’s teaching us.

SAFETY WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE A PRIVILEGE

V: Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of good memories in MC! I met a lot of my close friends there too. I learned a lot of skills that I never really got to appreciate until I was in college because I thought it was so basic and general.

C: Yeah! The technical things. They definitely had good standards for academics. I took a lot of those skills to college, and yeah, I agree—a lot of my peers in college weren’t that organized.

But, yes, the school is lacking in other things: Listening to students, teaching core values in the right way.

V: You know, safety wasn’t supposed to be a privilege. Everyone should’ve experienced that, they should be entitled to that. I think that’s what angers me the most—that not everyone had the good experiences we did. 

It shouldn’t have been a place where you’re second guessing—did I do something provocative, was that a flirty retort? It shouldn’t be a place where you’re conscious of your actions because of the possible malicious reactions of other people to it. MC should’ve been a safe space for all. I think that’s what we should draw close attention to.

—— To report cases of abuse, discrimination and harassment, e-mail your experience to safespaces@mc.edu.ph. For calls-to-action and concrete suggestions to help MC do better, take time to answer this form by Knollers for Knollers: http://bit.ly/contactknollersforknollers.

A FRIENDLY CONVERSATION IS A SUBTEXT SERIES DESIGNED TO BE A SAFE SPACE OF DISCOURSE. THESE ARE UNFILTERED CONVERSATIONS APPROACHING DIFFERENT TOPICS UNDER CURRENT EVENTS AND THE TRENDS THAT ARISE FROM POP CULTURE AND LIFESTYLE.